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Mommy Superpowers

By February 25, 2016

I don't know how many times I've heard the term Supermom over the years.  But I never truly believed in any of the hype before I had a child of my own.  I guess our superpowers are innate, and come from bringing life into world.  Here's some of my own superpowers that I've cultivated over the last three and half years:

Gag Master

The ability not to gag and vomit at all of the disgusting things you see and clean and touch and have all over your face as a mom.  The last few months of my pregnant body prepared me quite well for this ability.   Pretty much every day of my last trimester, I found myself facing some new atrocity on my body that I'd never seen before.  And don't even get me started on the birthing process.
Anyway, as a mom I have witnessed so many nasty things but don't even bat an eye anymore.  From one of the first diaper changes when my son was a newborn when I realized that he was actually still shitting (thought that one was cute); to the vomiting when we decided to try to let him cry it out; to the shit on the carpet and the wall and inside our wicker garbage can when he decided to empty his own potty.  It's all good, as far as I'm concerned.  Now, ask me to change another kid's poopy diaper?  Not without gloves, that shit is nasty!


Octo-Mom

This one doesn't refer to Nadya Suleman, the crazy lady in the States who gave birth to eight babies, while already having six kids at home and being on welfare (but seriously, WTF???).  This ability is the extreme multitasking moms do. Making supper while on the phone booking your kid's next vaccinations, with your toddler on your hip singing songs and dancing to keep him from fussing?  Cake walk.  Carrying the newborn in from the car in his bucket seat, arms laden with your groceries and your colossal diaper bag, and your keys in your mouth?  It's a cinch!  BUT in my case, ask me to hold a thought in my head unrelated to my son or my house?  Not gonna happen.

Feign Queen

One of my favorites, the power to pretend to be interested in all manner of things while not giving a shit at all.  "Mommy look, I made a race car out of Lego with super turbines and six wheels" for literally the twenty second time in one day; having a "conversation" with another mom at the park, who is speaking AT you about the benefits of all children being in daycare (while composing your grocery and next Netflix binge-watching lists in your head); conversations with other moms about themselves and their perfect children where you don't have a chance to get a word in...  Honestly, I don't care about 90% of the conversations I have with people, but no one knows since I wield this superpower like it's nobody's business.

Automatic Pilot Mom

This one is surprising , in that it literally comes from nowhere as soon as your kids are born.  Tackling the day by day before I had my son on less than seven hours of sleep was inconceivable.  Once he was born however, I would find myself awake for weeks on end with ten minute power naps keeping me from dying.  And the thing is, you just keep going without stopping, because you don't have days off.  There is no "off switch" on kids (and god, do we ever wish there was some days), so the best thing to do is plaster a shit-eating grin on your face, chug your umpteenth coffee of the day and handle it.  I am literally amazed at what my body can do some days.
This shit's on Auto-Pilot!

From single moms everywhere dealing with bullshit exes every day; to moms whose partners are away for work for days on end; to moms who tackle things we can't even imagine; to the moms who struggle to keep it all together when they feel like they're losing it...  We are all moms, and we all work our asses off while our own needs very rarely come into the equation.  If that's not the very definition of a Superhero, I don't know what is.

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1 comments

  1. One super power I have recently discovered now that my daughter has reached upper elementary age. Getting in the request/ command to do something just before she does while I'm in another room. Or better yet, knowing exactly what she is doing (and should't be) and calling her on it from another room. She thinks I'm psychic. :)

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