Why Are You Not Shutting Up?
I don’t understand why motherhood all of a sudden gives everyone the right to comment on me, my child-raising decisions, and my child.
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| Get your one-way ticket to Opiniontown here! |
In fact, as soon as I became visibly pregnant, it was like the general public got a free pass to comment on me: my weight gain; the shape of my belly; the texture of my hair; the possible sex of the baby based on how I was carrying, etc, etc.
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| "Oh, I've gained too much weight, you say? Eat shit!" |
Listen, in the thick of it, you know… when your baby is about a week old; when you haven’t slept in days and your nipples are bleeding; your vag is throbbing, and your stitches are itchy: if you need advice, you WILL ask for it. You'll be so desperate for some advice to make sure you're not about to kill your child with your mothering, that you'll talk to anyone about it.
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| "Please help me. I'm only smiling because I'm so deliriously tired that I forget my own name." |
When your toddler is going through the terrible two’s, and you’re trying to teach him to use the potty to pee instead of the couch, you may very well ask another mom at the park what they think. Christ, we all need a little support from time to time. A sounding board. Someone to shed perspective on the circus that is motherhood, to help us realize that we’re not alone.
But it’s the unsolicited sort of advice that really riles me up, when people want you to know their opinion on parenting… or basically anything that goes along with having kids. I had a hell of a time trying to get my newborn son to latch on to breastfeed; to which a “friend” of mine (who DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN) pointed out that breastfeeding was the Most Natural Thing In The World, and that I just needed to try harder. Seriously?!?!?!? Thank you very much, I hadn't realized that it was natural. Let me ignore my bleeding nipples and my son's tongue tie and buck up! NOW it will work!
Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all just walked around, spouting our opinions about everything that everybody else is doing as their job? Imagine walking into the kitchen of a five star restaurant and telling the chef: “Actually, I believe that you should make your pie crust differently!”. How about walking into the cockpit of an airplane and telling the pilot how you would see fit to land the Airbus 380? But you know what, that would never happen because in these situations, the general public has manners!
So, unless you’re asked for advice about my parenting by me:
- Show some respect
- Show some class
- Grow Up
- Shut the fuck up. Please.
Please
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