The Joys
Up until about two months ago, I thought that the Terrible Twos couldn’t possibly be as bad as they were made out to be.
I thought that I was one of the lucky ones whose toddler would bypass the dreaded stage and turn into a wonderfully behaved preschooler. I even went so far as to wonder if perhaps because I stay at home with my son full time, I was giving him the necessary tools to handle his own emotions in appropriate ways.
I thought that because my husband is a teacher and by nature extremely patient, our son would not resort to screaming or throwing things or trying to kick me in the face while I attempted to put on his pajamas for the fifth time.
Obviously, you all know where this scenario is going. And you’re 100% right: the joke IS on me. Can you believe that this university educated woman would be so vain, so presumptuous and so fucking deluded as to assume that her son wasn’t like other toddlers?
I don’t know if it was the day that M pulled his hand out of mine in the library parking parking lot and ran away; or maybe the morning that he screamed “No!” at me before running into the bathroom and actually managing to lock the door, after I’d asked him to put his sippy cup on the counter; or maybe it finally sunk in when he up-ended his bin full of train set pieces three times after Hubs and I told him to clean it all up before bath time…
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| In the time it took me to pour a coffee, this happened. And he's just sipping his smoothie nonchalantly! |
It has finally sunk it. My sweet, well-behaved, loving little boy has turned into someone I literally no longer recognize! He is a possessed whirling dervish sometimes, and I have no idea how to handle it. These terrible twos are the biggest bitch I have ever met and they're only now starting to wind down. M turned three last week, so I guess we're about to enter the Threenage years next. FML.
To all other moms with kids going through a similar stage: I FEEL you. I’ve been there, and I’m still there, and it sucks ass. To those moms with more than one child: I SALUTE you.
And I hear the Fucking Fours are on their way...
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