Do you remember playing the "I Never" drinking game when you were a teenager?  Someone would make a statement beginning with "I never..." and if you had done what he or she hadn't... well then you had to drink.  I'm sure you can imagine how the game quickly spiraled into sexual one-upmanship.  Whatever, we were kids!

As an expectant first time mom, I thought about all of the things that "I Will Never" do when it came time to being a mom.  The game of "I Will Never" is basically the polar opposite of the "I Never" drinking game we played as delinquent teens.  And so much less fun.  Looking back be now that my son is almost three, I feel sorry for the mom-to-be that I was.  She was oh-so-naïve. 

I had so many thoughts and idea and beliefs and ideals about the things I would and wouldn't do for M.  Now M is a three old boy.  At this point, my daily life is all about survival.

Here are some of my musings about motherhood pre-child, and what I SAID would never do and their realities now. 

"I'll Never raise my voice at my son when he misbehaves; instead I will have a calm and rational conversation with him.  He will also tell me why he is behaving the way he is."
Reality: I yell like a college football coach twenty three times a day, and threaten: "Do you want mommy to spank your bum?"  Also, the most common response when I question M is "Because I do/don't want to".

Yikes, that really IS scary.  Right?!?

"I'll Never let my son watch more than fifteen minutes of TV a day.  Excessive TV watching is so terribly detrimental to a child's cognitive and social development.  And don't even get me started on the fact that it causes ADHD!"
Reality: Kids don't understand down time, plain and simple.  Even if M naps, I have to do everything that I didn't have time to do while he was awake... So yes, the TV/laptop goes on when I need to make a meal or clean.  Hell, TV goes on when he throws a fit about watching something, just to make the tantrum stop.  Sometimes I put on Sesame Street and snuggle with him, just because.  M decided to wake up even earlier than usual this past weekend, at 4:50AM.  At 6:45AM I put Netflix for him.  I just couldn't.

"What?"

"I'll Never feed my son anything other than fresh homemade food. When he has snacks and has the occasional treat, it will have been made by love in my own kitchen.  We also won't feed him fast food while he lives under our roof".
Reality: Umm, are you kidding?  Was I high?  When I have the time, I love cooking and making homemade meals for my family.  But I don't always have the time.  And I'm a lover of the occasional fast-food lunch on the go.  I guess I never figured myself into the equation while thinking about my son's supposed clean eating.  I'm a stay at home mom, so he goes where I go.  And I hit McDick's from time to time.  So he does to.

"Sodium and nitrates, anyone?  Yes, please!"

"I'll Never" let M play with mindless games or toys, especially not unattended.  He'll only play quality educational toys that will help him achieve specific developmental milestone-related oriented goals".