A few people have mentioned that some of my posts have been pretty bitter.  Real, but certainly not positive.  I seriously don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but one of the things that I wanted to make sure we talked about with this here blog is the stuff that people don't talk about when it comes to motherhood. 

Whether you're a mom of a single child, or two or more; whether a mom whose children have left the nest; whether a single mom; whether a mom with an involved family and great friends; or whether a mom doing most of it alone: Motherhood is hard.  So damn hard.  And absolutely nothing can prepare you for it until you become one.  We felt like it was important to talk about the things that maybe we aren't so comfortable telling our family or friends. 

Some days I feel like I'm drowning, when I look around at the state of my house and can't see an end to the mess and the chaos.  Some days I lose my shit at my son, and yell at him... which makes him cry... and then of course I start crying.  Some days I'm so mind numbingly bored that I fantasize about a different life, one that isn't mine and involves lots of lying down and not having to share cheesies.  On the days my son decides to bless me with a nap, I sometimes count the minutes after he wakes up until Hubs walks through the door after work.

It's not that I don't love my life and my son.  I do, more than I can put into words, and so much more than I ever thought possible.  Seeing life through his eyes is amazing, and being there when he discovers things for the first time is a feeling like no other.  I am so blessed to be able to stay at home full time with my son, and I know there are other moms out there who would love to be in my situation but can't be for a variety of reasons.

M started out as a creature unable to do anything for himself into a wild three year old boy who makes me laugh hysterically every day with the crazy things he says and does.  He and my husband are the center of my world.  I never really felt the need to point that out on the blog, because to me it goes without saying.  I can't imagine feeling any differently about a child I grew inside me.

"This ain't no womb!  Put me back!"

There are days when I just want to throw in the towel, listen to my Ipod and go for a 10KM run and forget everything like I used to before I had a child ... but my body literally can't do that anymore since having M, so I look for other ways to cope with the waves of inadequacy that hit me daily as a mom.  One of the best ways I have of handling the ups and downs of motherhood is my support system of family and friends.

Through all of the challenges and the frustrations, through all the tears and the tantrums, through all the fights and the fuck ups: this is my life.  I just truly wish that I wasn't so sleep deprived that I could fully appreciate it in all its silly, mad, wild glory.