Don't Be A Loner... Unless You Wanna Be!
As a new mom, I can’t tell you how much comfort I’ve gotten from having other Mom Friends with kids of a similar age as M.
Don't get me wrong though, not every mom feels the need to make new friends... But for me, it was either stay indoors and stare at the walls and slowly start to resent being home all day... or get out there, meet people and make the most of these few short years before M goes to school. That's how I am, and recognizing that about myself has made me so much happier as a person and a much better mom. Happy Wife, Happy Life? How about Happy Mommy, Happy Everyone?!?
I have never been a particularly sociable person. In fact, some would probably have called me downright anti-social. A mix of of being pretty shy and having a low tolerance for stupid people didn’t exactly make me the life of the party back in the day (yep, I say that now).
Don't get me wrong though, not every mom feels the need to make new friends... But for me, it was either stay indoors and stare at the walls and slowly start to resent being home all day... or get out there, meet people and make the most of these few short years before M goes to school. That's how I am, and recognizing that about myself has made me so much happier as a person and a much better mom. Happy Wife, Happy Life? How about Happy Mommy, Happy Everyone?!?
I have never been a particularly sociable person. In fact, some would probably have called me downright anti-social. A mix of of being pretty shy and having a low tolerance for stupid people didn’t exactly make me the life of the party back in the day (yep, I say that now).
I found the early months of motherhood really overwhelming. I felt as though I needed support, so I joined a Mom and Baby class at the local CLSC. Honestly, I wasn't exactly pumped about leaving the house in the dead of Montreal winter with my three month old in a stroller, and having to take public transit to get there. Frankly, I was kind of dreading it. But once I was there, I met a group of mostly first-time moms feeling exactly the same way as I was. Now here’s where it gets interesting: having M actually made me more sociable.
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| "What say we get out of these jammies and meet some folks, buddy?" |
After a few weeks, I suggested we meet outside of the CLSC, and have play dates at each other's homes. And you know what? Thank god for those moms!! They helped me through some very stressful and terrifying baby-related situations… and they were going through the exact same things at the exact same time. Relatable much?
When M was almost a year old, we moved to suburbia to be closer to my mom and dad. I didn’t know anyone out here, but knew that I needed to connect with other moms again to keep my sanity. I joined a Facebook Mommy Group, and met some awesome moms there as well. I signed M up for all sorts of different activities and classes, and met some fantastic moms there too.
Who else are you gonna text in the middle of the night asking “M literally shat himself awake three times, had a nightmare, pinched my boob, told me he didn’t like me, and then asked me to sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Normal?”? Are you going to text your BFF living out her career dreams in the city, who has no children? Hell no! She (or he) would be supportive and try to offer advice, but it's really not the same unless you're living it. Just like my bestie would never text me to ask for career advice right now... especially since I'm basically a living, breathing definition of Mommy Brain 24/7; so my response would be something like "Uh, try singing, then offer goldfish crackers?". You’re gonna send that frantic text to your Mom Friend who’s either passed out solid or in her own slightly altered version of your situation.
Another wonderful perk of having Mom Friends is the Play Date. It’s a great way for kids to interact and play with another kid’s toys if someone other than you hosts. It helps kids socialize and familiarize themselves with having other kids around. And most importantly, it’s essential for us moms to interact with other moms. And use each other as sounding boards. And vent and rant about motherhood; parenthood; husbands; in-laws; you name it. And there’s always coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. And carbs. And maybe a token salad:)
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| If my playdates look like this, remind me to shoot myself |
Basically, having Mom Friends has helped me to normalize the completely abnormal world of being a stay at home mom with a now almost three year old boy. So, to all of my wonderful, gorgeous, kind, caring, hilarious Mommy Friends (you know who you are!): I LOVE YOU, MAMAS!
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